when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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