Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
