i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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