So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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