The best revenge is premature balding
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
