ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
