so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
