You smell like a Billy Joel song
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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