Are we in a gay sports bar?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
