he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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