I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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