Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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