so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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