i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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