operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
