My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
