I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The feeling are messing with the penis
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
