My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
