Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
