His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
