Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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