hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
