the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
