her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
