so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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