Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
