she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
