I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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