I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I party with great urgency now.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
