Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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