Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
