Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
