i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
