Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
