You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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