he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
