Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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