end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
