I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
