i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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