you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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