after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
