i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
