when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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