How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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