she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
