I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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