I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
