see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
