If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
